I love me some tongue-and-cheek humor

The epitome of tongue-and-cheek humor, Yanks style:

Things were so much better when Scott Brosius was around. That's a third-base plan. Third basemen who put up on-base percentages of .307 and .299 in consecutive years just don't grow on trees. Factor in his twice-monthly barehand pickups and some timely postseason hits and he goes from prized commodity to once-in-a-lifetime talent. Even at age 42, he would be a great fit for this team in 2009. Bring him back. The Yankees haven't won a World Series since Brosius retired after 2001, and they've made only one in that span. That's just too much to be a coincidence. It has nothing -- nothing -- to do with bad luck or a lack of pitching.

Sad part: ARod's still judged only on his post-season (and how it stacks up to Scotty B, fair or not). No matter if he carries the team TO the playoffs, he's expected to WIN it for them.

I wouldn't mind his checkbook, but that's an awful amount of pressure. Especially when wrapped up in Madonna's sinewy arms and old-looking man-hands. Plus having to be reminded about Jeter's 4 rings and "never do wrong" legacy.