What to say before you're traded

From agent Barry Axelrod:

“Jake grew up dreaming of playing in pinstripes..."

Of course he did. Just like every other free agent signed by or player traded to the Yanks. They all have that dream. It must be part of Agenting 101. Announce that you have always dreamed of this day, putting on the pinstripes. Blah, blah, blah.

The best part of Axelrod's partial statement above is captured in the totality of his quote below (emphasis mine):

“Jake grew up dreaming of playing in pinstripes, but he has a strong preference to stay in the National League,” Axelrod said. “He’s a good hitter -– he was the most potent part of the Padres’ offense at times this year -– and he knows the hitters in the National League. But, Jake’s strongest preference is to not be traded.”

Let's giggle over that, let it roll around your noggin for a few moments: Jake Peavy, NL Cy Young caliber pitcher, the most potent part of the Padres lineup. OK, we know that's not true (hello Adrian Gonzalez?) but the fact that his agent had the gusto to even suggest it just gives you a hint how badly that team needs offense.