"Ryan Howard is a carrier. That's somebody that can take your team and get big hits and knock in runs and carry you. Ryan Howard is a carrier. You can say what you want about him, but his numbers are right there for you.''Gee, thanks Charlie. I had NO idea what you were talking about. That's sooo much better. Did you consult John Maddon on that one?
That machine is a toaster. You put bread in it and it comes out toast. That is a toaster. ***
*** With a wink and a nod at the late genius Mitch Hedberg:
"I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender....all you do is say what the sh*t does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps sh*t fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break."