Monday, October 27, 2008

Thanks for the explanation, Charlie

"Ryan Howard is a carrier. That's somebody that can take your team and get big hits and knock in runs and carry you. Ryan Howard is a carrier. You can say what you want about him, but his numbers are right there for you.''
Gee, thanks Charlie. I had NO idea what you were talking about. That's sooo much better. Did you consult John Maddon on that one?

That machine is a toaster. You put bread in it and it comes out toast. That is a toaster. ***

*** With a wink and a nod at the late genius Mitch Hedberg:
"I want to get a job as someone who names kitchen appliances. Toaster, refrigerator, blender....all you do is say what the sh*t does, and add "er". I wanna work for the Kitchen Appliance Naming Institute. Hey, what does that do? It keeps sh*t fresh. Well that's a fresher....I'm going on break."

1 comment:

Mark said...

Gee, I would have guessed he meant Howard had the plague or something.