Monday, December 1, 2008

Stupid is as stupid does

Sorry, but this is incredibly dumb, dangerous and stupid. And I'm not talking about what Plaxico did or didn't do because that's a whole 'nother level of idiocy.

Getting special treatment at New York-Cornell Hospital, where he gave his name as Harris Smith, saying he'd been shot at an Applebee's restaurant. Nonetheless, hospital workers recognized him as Plaxico Burress, sources said, and the gunshot was not reported, as required by law.
According to state law, failing to report a gunshot injury to cops is a class A misdemeanor. But when asked about the hospital's reporting policies, the spokesman said, "I don't know what the policy and protocol is on that."
To risk your medical career to protect this knucklehead is simply inexcusable. To admit eating at Applebee's is just further shame.

UPDATE: I was reminded of comedian Ron White's "you can't fix stupid" schtick while driving in today, so here's an update with the edited text:
If I could offer one piece of advice to the planet, it would be this: Don't marry for looks alone, and I'll tell you why. In a few years, when Barbara's boobs start sagging, she can get plastic surgery, have them lifted, move the nipple wherever. You can actually go to a [strip] bar, pick out a set of [boobs] and say, "I want those [boobs] on that woman." If her belly gets too big, she can get a tummy tuck and have a belly like a cheerleader. If her vision goes bad, you can have LASIK surgery and have 20/20 vision. If her hearing goes bad, they can install a device in her ear that will give you hearing as clear as it was the day you were born. But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever.


tHeMARksMiTh said...

Agree on the not telling part, but I like Applebee's. Their crispy orange chicken bowl is really good.

Rory said...

Mark, Applebee's sucks.

And not reporting the incident to the police is even more ridiculous if you know it's Plax. A gunshot wound to a Pro Football player is not going to disappear just because a Hospital worker doesn't report it.

Jason @ IIATMS said...

Thanks, Rory. I had an offline discussion with Mark. In short, I'll cut the lad some slack as he's just a student (in Kentucky, no less). When I was a student, ramen noodles was a feast.

However, being a NY food snob, the thought of going into Applebee's or TGI Friday's makes my skin crawl. I've done it, but reluctantly.

Ron Rollins said...

Wasn't this what happend to Dan Fouts back in the 80's. Supposedly, he was going to be suspended for a game because he had failed to pay his union dues.

Then a fan offered to pay the dues for him, and he was mysteriously injured during a workout.

Turns out he was shot by a a jealous husband and the team doctor treated him without notification.

Oh, how the world has moved on.

tHeMARksMiTh said...

I'm glad yall is givin I some slack cuz I from Kentucky. But Appelbe is still good eatin. :)

P.S. Ron White = hilarious (Tater Tot -- wonderful)