Admiring the comedic genius of MLB contracts, part I

First in a series of posts that shed some light into the nuances and comedic genius of MLB contracts, incentives and bonuses.

In honor of Freddy Garcia's latest craptastic outing, I present his 2009 contract details, including bonuses and incentives:

• National Association contract for $15,000/mo.
• Letter Agreement for Major League contract for $1,500,000.
• Plus: $250,000 for 120ip; $250,000 for 130ip; $250,000 for 140ip; $250,000 for 150ip; $250,000 for 160ip; $500,000 for 170ip; $500,000 for 180ip; $500,000 for 190ip; $500,000 for 200ip;
• $250,000 for 10gs; $250,000 for 15gs; $250,000 for 20gs; $500,000 for 25gs; $500,000 for 30gs.
• Plus: $100,000 for Comeback Player of the Year;
• $50,000 for All Star;
• $100,000 for Cy Young ($25,000-2nd; $10,000-3rd);
• $25,000 for Gold Glove;
• $25,000 for LCS/MVP;
• $100,000 for WS/MVP.
• Plus for each on the active 25-man roster: $250,000 for 30 days; $250,000 for 60 days; $250,000 for 90 days; $250,000 for 120 days; $250,000 for 150 days; $250,000 for 180 days.

I know that some of those "award" bonuses are standard in most contracts, but it sure is fun to read it with respect to Freddy Garcia (especially for 2009). All of this might be moot if he continues to pitch like he did yesterday.

Garcia, who is trying to come back from reconstructive shoulder surgery, lasted just two innings in his second spring appearance. That was an improvement, considering he lasted just two-thirds of an inning last Friday, but apparently it was not enough to impress manager Jerry Manuel.

"With the numbers we have in that spot and his situation of not being active for a while, [that] will probably make it very, very difficult for him to leapfrog some of those other guys that are in that spot and have pitched recently," Manuel said of Garcia's chances at the No. 5 role.